you would pick up someone in the library
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
