Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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