I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
