best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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