I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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