I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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