singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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