...so i touched it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
