I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
