perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
