He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
