i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
