I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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