how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
