belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.