In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.