We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She needs sedatives and a leash
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.