do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
