My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
3pm strippers are depressing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize