Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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