Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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