you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
