You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
