The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
