Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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