Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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