I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
