her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
