I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
