I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
