Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
