when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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