Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
