I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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