Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
