i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
