i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
