before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
