apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
