got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
