so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
