You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
