The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Damn victory sex feels great
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
