scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
