the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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