The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
