Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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