Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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