So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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