Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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