I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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