would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
