8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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