My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
