You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come share oat with me in your robe
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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