I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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