Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
