I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
